The 10 things nobody told me about being pregnant

I knew nothing… And these things have surprised me thus far.

Weird dreams: Things can get a little trippy in the dream department. Obviously you’re going to bed with a head full of thoughts and worries that you’ve never had before and it can play havoc with your dreamscape. The most common dream I had was being in different scenarios with people that didn’t know I was pregnant who kept plying me with Champagne. I kept accidentally drinking it all and then panicking about my poor drunk unborn child.



Cravings: You might not get any. But it’s worth making some up so that you have an answer to the question that every person will inevitably ask. I actually developed an extra fondness for tomatoes and cheese but these foods are pretty much top of my favourites list anyway.



Stupidity leak: ‘baby brain’ is an actual thing. Before I even knew I was pregnant I was leaving the house without a coat, talking into my phone before I’d called anyone and sitting down in restaurants opposite the wrong people. Just this morning I headed out for work and walked to the end of my drive in my slippers…

Public property: I was not prepared for people to suddenly start touching my stomach every two minutes. Relative strangers suddenly seem to think it’s ok to rub my tummy like I’m some sort of genie. I do not like being touched. And this has not changed. I am also unable to grant wishes.

Everyone is suddenly pregnant: Seriously, where did all those baby bumps come from? I never noticed them before.



Londoners are mean. More on that here.

Super-Nose: You suddenly have serious super-power senses in the smell department. And an ultra-sensitive gag reflex. Avoid walking behind a bin lorry like the plague. It could end badly.



Evening Sickness: You know when Phoebe Buffay said she gets her morning sickness in the evening, and we all laughed and said ‘classic Phoebe’? Yes, that.



Names in books/on TV/ everywhere: You can’t read anything/watch TV/meet anyone new without assessing the suitability of any names mentioned for your unborn child. Celine? That’s a pretty name. Archibald? Could I have an ‘Archibald’?


Cry face: All the tears. All the time. It doesn’t take much. That’s why it’s important to be nice to pregnant people. 


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9 Comments

  1. Great list!
    I can tell you that I don't remember the weird dreams, I believe this is part of everyone.
    Craving, oh my lord, I loved mayo and tuna and eggs and everything together even for breakfast, I stopped eating chicken, I couldn't stand the smell.
    Names yes, I looked at every magazine, tv shows, movies etc… always looking for a great name… I stuck with Diana. 🙂

    #brilliantblogposts

    xx
    Marta

    Like

  2. Very funny post! I nodded the whole way through that! I'm definitely with you on the weird dreams, I should have enjoyed them more though as now I don't have any (sleep)! #brillblogposts

    Like

  3. Yep, this pretty much sums up pregnancy! I used to have proper horror movies dreams and I'm pleased to say when pregnancy ends, so do the dreams! #brilliantblogposts

    Like

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