Motherhood = a serious adjustment of life goals

Two years ago, I was planning a wedding, moving house and starting a new role covering for my boss running Glamour.com. I’m not someone who talks about ‘life goals’ (too cynical), more ‘cheese goals’ and ‘goals scored by Southampton FC’, but if I was, at that moment in time, I would have been pretty satisfied with how I was measuring up against my hopes at home and in my career.

ENTER A BABY.

Now I’m not saying that having a baby hasn’t fulfilled one of the major ‘life goals’ (vomit) that I had. I have always wanted kids. But in terms of day-to-day achievements, things have changed. These are a few of my adjusted daily life goals. If I achieve more than one, it’s a very good day.

  • Sleeping from the time I go to bed until past 1am.
  • Sleeping past 6am in the morning.
  • Sleeping at all, actually.
  • Washing my hair.
  • Brushing my hair.
  • Not having a chunk of my clean or unclean hair pulled out by a 4-month-old.
  • Changing a nappy that hasn’t exploded through one or more layers of clothes.
  • Getting through the day without being vomited on.
  • Eating food with cutlery in both hands.
  • Having cereal for only one of my three daily meals.
  • Successfully talking to someone to whom I don’t have to refer to myself as ‘mummy’. 
Mummy’s got to dash, nap time’s over.

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