Stuff that’s cute when your baby does it. That isn’t actually cute.

(Nobody else is finding this cute right now, Jack.)

  • Grabs hold of a stranger’s nose and pulls.
  • Pulls a stranger’s hair so hard they have to drop their head to the side at comedy lightning speed.
  • Picks something up and drops it repeatedly expecting you to pick it up.
  • Sneezes while eating so that food comes out his nose.

*Even writing this list I’m picturing Jack doing these things, smiling, then imagining any other baby doing them and feeling mildly nauseated/ pissed off*

  • Pretends to give you a hug when actually just wiping his nose on your shoulder.
  • Gently pets the cat before grabbing hold of a large chunk of his fur and pulling. (Sorry Ziggy Stardust).
  • Thrashes around so wildly in the bath that you, the bathroom, the cat (sorry Boris) and all your towels end up wetter than he does.
  • Immediately bites any other baby that comes within biting range.
  • Immediately bites any stranger that offers a hand of friendship.
  • Does a fart so powerful it makes him wobble over from his (previously sturdy) sitting position.

Jack. You’re just so damn cute.

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